Cleaning My Act - Fake Friendship

Beginning.

There used to be 3 of us - me, *F1 & *F2. I knew F2 since we attended the same institute but I never talked to her at that time because I was a Senior student and she was my Junior. Normally I don't bother with those Juniors student. Our friendship only started when we have common friend which was F1. F1 and F2 already friends. They were ex-colleague before and becomes personal friends since then. How I knew F1? Well, it was through my ex-schoolmate. We hit it off so well. I did connect with both F1 and F2. I regards them from the beginning like a sister that I never had before.

1st Problem.

I could pointed out at F1. She pointed something that makes her unhappy and it was related to F2. Since we all share secrets and everything else, I bring it up to F2 but F1 denied stating that. That should be the first sign for me not to trust her. But I brushed it aside. [And I just remembering these as I was writing this pieces.]

F1 has not been an honest friend. And she maintained it even to the day that I had enough of her tales. 

Truthfully, I was the happiest when I hang out with her. Like a sister, I share everything with her despite all warning signs. It was rather sad and hurtful when I heard she told another friend of us that I treated her like a lesbian couple. No offense to the Lesbian community. But I am not one of the LGBT.

I could listed out all her faults but it does not benefit me no more. She is now part of the list of fake friends that I had the misfortune to cross with in my path. She is part of my history now and will stay as it is. 

Hindsight of knowing her, I needs to take this in positive light that I should be more wary of people kindness. And listen to my mom's warning about the people I've met.

2nd Problem.

F1 will always strap in cash. And I always had to pay for her. She even own half of my credit card. 

I want to enjoy in travelling and partying. But I have no friends to join me. And she was the one available but no cash. So, I had to come up with the cash somehow. In actuality, I am never a stingy person. I consider myself very generous but F1 take it for granted.

Till the end of our friendship, she makes me feel that it was me who own her money. WT-Fish!

3rd Problem.

When I ended my friendship with F1, I was disappointed that F2 never had the guts to hear my side of story. She believed everything that F1 had told her. Even the concocted lies that she might tell her about my dislike in F2 proudness in wearing the hijab. 

I always listen to both side of the story, but unlike F2 she did not even bother. Well, I guess she don't really likes me. But I hope one day the God Almighty will open her eyes the truth.

If you asked me, why I do not confront F2 with the truth? Well, I have long decided to clean out any sort of relation that related to F1. And since F2 is friend to F1, sadly I had to let her go. 

For me, why bother? I always knew F2 will never believe a single word from me. Aside from she has become very proud of wearing hijab, she is easily influence by her friends. These knowledge I kept secretly to myself. Because if F2 knows it, she won't accept the true fact of her weak character.

As for F1, I'm not sure whether the secret that she stated that only me and her ex-boyfriend knows about it, is true. Whatever it is, and no matter what's becomes of our friendship, that secret will stay buried with me and I will take it to the grave.

Things that they don't know about me.

That I never share their secret to anyone, not even to neither of them when I know they are confiding me their secret. If they knew this about me or not, sadly it is a lost for them. But I'm sure that F1 knows this about me, which is why she comes out lucky in influencing F2 since I won't confront F2 with the truth.

I am far from being a coward. It's just that I could not be bothered with them anymore.
For me, once I give up on you, that's where I drew the line out from any sort of relationship.

Ending.

It was sad to see such a friendship goes away like that. But I am happy with my decision to walk away. I allowed the world to see me as the villain and F1 as the hero in our story of friendship. Because I believe to achieve the definition of happiness in life, I had to loose some to win some. 

I had not been happy lately that proceeding to the end of my friendship with F1 and F2. So, why should I stay when I was misunderstood  by both people who called me their sister.

Now that I am free of having besties, I am being myself again. I can enjoy travelings, attending concerts, buy lots of books and the best of all, no more headaches!

Here I share with you my favourite quote about friendship from Mr. Khalil Gibran:

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity

*F1 & *F2 - Out of respect to them, I won't state out their names.